AITA?
Monday. Recovering from a weekend of 4yr birthday party, birthday day & a trip to Hong Kong Disneyland. Wrapping paper strewn. An obstacle course of small pieces of everything to go anywhere. The overwhelm is tangible.
Gifs given with beautiful generosity.
So many things.
So here I am wondering, AITA (am I the asshole) for thinking kids birthday registries are the way to go? Hear me out.
I’ve always been a registry fan. It feels a bit awkward to tell people things that you want / need / appreciate. You never want to sound like you’re demanding a gift but it’s a nice and easy way to let people know. They’re super normalised for say a baby shower, and once my kids were born I’d originally kept my babylist.com registry open and would post gift ideas to send to grandparents etc (we live on different continents and online shopping scares my mom a bit!) So it was appreciated by everyone and certainly for those first few years which were pandemic ones and meant no travel.
One of the double edge swords of Hong Kong living is how much of a premium space is. Even if you have a very healthy rent budget, it is likely you’ll still be living uber conscious of what is in your home and taking up space. Frustrating at times, I actually count it as one of my favourite blessings: it leaves no room for unnecessary stuff. And while I doubt I’ll ever make it to full Montessori Parent, it does wonderfully force you to be very specific about the toy options you bring into your child’s world. Toys need to be easy to store, easily accessible (for you child independently, ideally) and best if they encourage open play and have multiple uses, or interact with one another.
I feel like most parents in Hong Kong are conscious of the fact few of us have space to spare, and I got quite a few messages from people asking or checking what my children would like for their birthdays. I don’t think my replies were very helpful, because I felt too shy to be too specific; I wish I had made a list to easily send! I manage a half-list nearer the end. A registry link would have been the easiest reply.
My mom-in-law had checked in and we had had the same gift suggestion – an add-on for his well used Magna-Tiles. I was able to pick a few options from which we chose. There are some smaller add-ons that I would have added to a party registry as while they don’t seem like a super exciting gift individually I know they would be well-used and played with. Adding onto something we already have storage for is also such a big win (and for my mental load). I now have an incoming trip to IKEA for more storage boxes and will need to rework some spaces.
Other benefits of a registry might help fewer repeats (we have A LOT of similar things now) and would maybe curb the number of rogue choices. I broke a wine glass this morning blowing up an inflatable boxing punch bag – I might donate it to my friend’s rooftop for playdates because our balcony won’t deal and now I’ve added wine glasses to the IKEA shopping list…
So, now that I sit here at the end of #birthdaymonth (both my kids, my partner and a good chunk of besties are all Feb babies, shoooooo) I think, yes. Registries next time. Asshole or not.
Thoughts?
