Why upsizing your family doesn’t mean you need to upsize your home just yet
“We’ve a baby on board, we’ll have to move out!”
I live in a 500sq/f apartment with 1x partner in crime, 2x (admittedly very) small doggos and 1x hurricane of a small human. Here’s what I’ve learnt about that:
- I never set up my baby monitor because I can naturally hear everything. Small human even started sleeping in his own room at six weeks not because that was a plan, but because his naps turned into longer sleeps and whilst for the first few nights I slept in his room with him, I soon realised I could sleep in my own bed and still wake at his first sound. We also breastfed for a year and I didn’t mind at all getting up and walking a few steps to do that (I know that’s not everyone’s preference for night feeds but it really didn’t bother me). I’m fairly sure my parents’ bedroom is bigger than the two bedrooms in my apartment together and it would be a longer walk going from one side to the other in theirs.
- Nothing is ever really far away. Need to change a nappy? Need to grab a burp cloth? Need to sip your water bottle because oh my goodness that breastfeeding thirst is REAL? Nothing is ever that far away; nothing has been forgotten upstairs or down the hall because you do not have any of these things. No need for ‘diaper caddies’ all around. We actually stopped using our fancy nappy bin because it was easier to just put it in the main kitchen bin (he now loves tottering off and putting them in himself!), and since that’s not huge and is emptied fairly often there’s not much of a lingering smell problem.
- I can see my child. Like all the time (almost). We keep the bathroom door shut but otherwise he has free rein and there’s almost nowhere to hide. No getting into dangers while you ‘just quickly pop upstairs to grab something’. A quick lunge will get you pretty far in thwarting a dangerous toddler idea.
- No space for hoarding. “Everything in your home should be useful or beautiful”. Honestly, it should all be both but that’s another conversation. Small space forces you to be a lot more intentional with what you let take up that space. There’s no attic or garage or spare room to just shove things out of sight, out of mind. And that, I’ve realised, is a really, really good thing. Does this still serve me or nah? Do I love it? Is it worth the space it’s taking up? It’s also become another reason to participate in circular economy – if I’m only going to make use of a jumper for only a few months, then I’ll much rather buy one pre-loved and send it on its way to the next family when we’re done with it. That’s a small space win, but also an environmental win. I’ve also lent a few things to friends with newborns that I am keeping for when we have another baby because by lending it out not only do they get to use the item, but it stops taking up space while being unused in my home!
- It forces you to get out. Small human is as active and as adventurous as they come, and absolutely loves being let loose on a field or playground – but he’s not the only one that needs to move. I do. I have a theory that postpartum can feeling lonely and suffocating no matter the size of your home. Our payoff for living in a small apartment, is that it’s situated in a wonderfully bustling family area in the middle of the city. I have to take my dog for a walk every morning, so we go. Every morning (sometimes earlier than other days depending on how desperately any of us – baby, dog or me – is needing to get out). There have been days we go for bonus walks because baby or me (or both of us!) are about to have a meltdown. Sometimes I meet up with another mama and we walk together. Most of the time I’m by myself, and I’ll pop on a podcast and let my brain be filled with current affairs and adult conversations. When small human still had morning naps he’d fall asleep mid-walk and sometimes I would park him at a coffeeshop while he slept. We’re lucky to have an awesome public playground and multiply public sports fields right in front of us to use. Small human is in a “Baby Gang” and they have a standing twice a day meet up time at the playground. Everyone lives within walking distance. It’s hard to host everyone in our home, but it’s extremely easy to meet up and run around outside and I can’t be mad about that.
I don’t mean for all this to come off as merely city life > the white picket fence because that’s just silly. I don’t think there’s one right choice for everyone at every time and there are so many factors at play. But I do think sometimes we need to pause and have a little rethink about we think we need/want vs what we really need/want. I know we’ll grow out of this apartment in the not so distant future. I know as small human(s?!) grow bigger their needs and priorities will change. But babies? They just need you. And you don’t need to uproot your whole life straight away for them. Grow into it.
p.s. Post Partum is also way easier when good coffee is within walking distance #justsaying
