A part of me is tempted to spurt out the old saying “Failing to prepare is preparing to fail” but breastfeeding is far more nuanced and complicated than that. And this is real life; there are curve balls and we can’t always control how things go down. So I want to start off by saying there is no fail. Don’t be so hard on yourself; we’re all just trying to do our best here. However, help a girl out (yourself, help yourself girl) and do a little prep work.
These are the Five Things To Know Before Your Breastfeeding Journey
- Natural doesn’t mean easy. My favourite nursing quote is “Breastfeeding is natural like walking, but just like walking it needs to be learned.” You’re learning. Baby is learning. You both have instincts, and you’re figuring this out together. This is not something you’re both magically expected to be pro’s at. Learning new things can be frustrating, especially if we didn’t expect a challenge. So have your mind prepared for that; don’t let “this isn’t easy” be an unexpected shock.”
- Find Your Village. Your twice-their-normal-size bosoms are not the only ones who will benefit from a bit of extra support. I could not shout it loud enough nor say it enough times, but you are going to need some people in your corner. Don’t make this an unnecessarily lonely journey. Knowledgable midwives/lactation consultants are like fairy godmothers. Take all the help you can get. Vocalise to those helping at home what you need from them. And even extra important in these Covid times, find an online community who will be there for questions, knowledge sharing or just a good old vent!
- Do the mahi, get the treats. Do the research – both the anecdotal and trusted source kind. See what things come up a lot. What do people find hard or surprising – what weren’t they prepared for? What made people want to stop or forced them to stop before they wanted? What did people wish they’d known before their journeys? What made breastfeeding easier / more enjoyable? Everyone has their own journey, but we often have similar struggles. Learn from them!
- Make a troubleshooting guide for yourself! Just in your head is ok. No one wants you to end up in hospital with mastitis so learn what to look out for and how to deal. Blocked ducts? Cracked/bleeding nipples? Engorgement? Learn what all these things mean, how they happen, why they happen and what to do when they happen. Breastfeeding can often be painful, particularly at the beginning but the pain is there to tell you something is not quite right. Don’t just suck it up and think it’s supposed to feel this way.
- And if it all goes to shit? Then so it does. But please, please lean on your village. Lean on your village to help you not quit on a bad day. And lean on your village if choosing to stop feels best for you. Either way give yourself grace. Don’t feel like you must be quiet as you wrestle with discomfort – physical or mental.
The only thing I want more than you to have a positive breastfeeding journey, is for you to feel supported no matter how that feeding journey goes and in whatever choices you make for it. I recently came across “Informed is Best” and I really like that concept. Educate yourself as best as possible, not just on the benefits of breastmilk itself (and look, it is incredible stuff) but on everything that goes into feeding a baby and how it fits into your world. From work commitments, pumping options, personal stress/anxiety, the time needed and your support options. Our societies fail women in so many ways, and particularly in supporting them through feeding their babies. That failure is on us as a collective, not you. Put down that burden, walk away from any shame. You do not fail at motherhood because you feel you are failing at breastfeeding.
And know while my child is on my boob, I will happily help you make that bottle for yours.
